Purpose and Self Worth: Moving Beyond External Validation
The quest for purpose is deeply intertwined with the concept of worthiness. At its core, worthiness examines the gap between our baseline consciousness and our inherent wholeness. Alignment with source leaves no space for feelings of unworthiness; when we're fully aligned, we recognize our intrinsic value. Thus, feelings of unworthiness often signal a momentary forgetfulness of our highest selves.
Please know that experiencing unworthiness is a common aspect of the human condition. As we develop a deeper understanding of the energetics of worth and how we recognize when we are experiencing unworthiness, we can choose something new and remember who we really are.
Unraveling Unworthiness
Worthiness is often misunderstood as being tied to external validations such as wealth, appearance, or social approval. We know we’re in the arena of unworthiness when we are eagerly looking to others for validation. However, true worthiness is an intrinsic quality that stems from recognizing our inherent value as spiritual beings. As we embark on the spiritual journey, we begin to uncover layers of self-worth that are not dependent on external factors but are rooted in our connection to the wholeness of who we are.
Let’s take an example. You’re applying for a job and you’ve got three places that you’re very interested in, though they have different vibes. The first one you hear from right away and they’ve declined to move forward with you. Naturally, you may feel a bit of rejection which manifests as inferiority and unworthiness. Remember, the ego is activated when we feel superior and when we feel inferior.
There’s two ways to move on the worthiness ladder, downwards as we compound the rejection with other thoughts we’ve had about our unworthiness. Or, upwards, where we acknowledge the momentary sting, but remind ourselves of who we are, an infinite being of pure possibility. We find our way back to trust. We remember that our energy is better spent walking through the doors wide open to us, than banging on closed ones. The latter takes much more energy.
The second business you simply do not hear back from. It’s been weeks and there’s no signal, whether they liked you, or not. In this case our untrained minds may move into all sorts of intrusive thoughts around worthiness. The personality, or ego, is trying to figure out where in the hierarchy of worth that this now puts you in. The unknown is a daunting place for unworthiness, because anything is possible.
The soul-ution here is to repeat that last sentence and change its meaning. Anything is possible. Instead of buying into the negative spiral, you start to choose another meaning, or better yet, choose no meaning at all.
The last business says they cannot wait for you to join them. A hint of unworthiness could still makes its way into your psyche because now you’re not sure if you’re worthy of their acceptance! The ego can find all sorts of ways to disallow your worthiness to shine brightly. The more you are aware of these mechanics, the more you can choose where you place your focus, and therefore your energy.
What’s a more empowering feeling after being accepted? Maybe it’s ‘lovely, we’re in alignment and I can’t wait to see what their journey brings for both of us”. No unworthiness needed.
At this higher level of awareness, you start to radiate an energy that is beyond confidence, it’s the simplicity of knowing your inherent worth regardless of the doors opening or closing around you.
Neuroscience and Self-Worth
Let’s dive into a little science! Our sense of self-worth is deeply intertwined with our mental health, well-being, and overall life success. Neuroscientific research has made significant strides in understanding the brain mechanisms that underpin self-worth, revealing how our experiences, thoughts, and emotions shape our self-esteem.
Key Brain Regions Involved in Self-Worth
The hippocampus is crucial for memory formation and retrieval. It helps us form a baseline of self-worth based on our past experiences. Positive experiences and memories can enhance self-worth, while negative experiences can diminish it.
The cingulate cortex is an integrative brain region that links various areas involved in emotional processing and self-reflection. This area is activated when we consider how others view us, influencing our self-worth. It also plays a role in understanding our own identity and self-concept.
The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is involved in planning, decision-making, and self-evaluation. It plays a vital role in self-reflection and assessing our worth. Positive self-evaluations activate the left hemisphere of the PFC, while negative self-evaluations activate the right hemisphere.
Recent Discoveries and Insights: Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem
Studies have shown that self-compassion may be more beneficial than self-esteem in promoting well-being and resilience. Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, which can lead to greater self-acceptance especially in the face of difficulty. This seems like a trivial difference at first, but there’s some great wisdom to be unearthed in these findings.
Self-compassion comes from within and is not dependent on external achievements or comparisons. It is about treating oneself with kindness regardless of success or failure. It sees all experiences of that of the human experience and tends to find similarities with others instead of a focus on separation.
Whereas in the case of self-esteem it is typically based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, heavily influenced by external factors such as achievements, appearance, and social approval. You can start to see how self-esteem is the lower consciousness way to view worth, and self-compassion is the realization of our inherent value regardless of the external world.
Uncovering and Transforming Unworthiness Myths
Our journey into embracing our worth is an ongoing one over our entire lifetimes. You’ll continue to unravel the infinite layers of the worthiness onion, and as you do, discover new and powerful ways to embrace who you really are.
Here’s a few tips while you’re on the journey:
Increase Awareness:
🌀 The initial step in embracing your inherent worth is to cultivate a heightened awareness of your daily emotional landscape. This awareness is crucial, as it is the foundation upon which meaningful change can be built.
🌀 Incorporate practices that foster introspection and self-examination. Whether it’s through meditation, or any practice that helps you build the muscle of introspection, these activities help you to tune into your feelings more deeply and consistently. (Try SoulPod!)
🌀 Pay close attention to moments when your emotions become intense or charged. Ask yourself: What is this feeling trying to tell me about my sense of worth? This question can lead to insights about how you value yourself and how you might be unconsciously influenced by external validations. By maintaining this awareness, you equip yourself to challenge and change the narratives that no longer serve your growth toward true self-acceptance.
Choose Differently:
🌀 There’s nothing wrong with you when you feel unworthy, but there is an opportunity being presented and energy to be worked with.
🌀 First, write down all of your recent ‘unworthy’ thought myths. Get them all out, writing quickly so you do not overthink and resist the urge to judge the thoughts.
Examples (make sure to spend time creating your own!):
I didn’t hear back from them because I’m not good enough.
I lost the opportunity because I’m not as good as others at what I do.
I’m messing up all the time.
I can’t do anything right.
I’m not as smart as they seem to think I am.
Even though I got this opportunity, I bet I mess it up.
🌀 Then, take each one and beside it, write a new thought that is dripping in worthiness.
Examples (again, make sure to sit with your own):
The fact I didn’t hear back from them has nothing to do with my worth.
The opportunity shifted because it was not meant for me.
I’m learning all the time.
I’m right where I need to be.
I’m incredibly powerful.
I’ll honor this with my unique energy and joyful perspective.
I’m worthy, no matter what.
Life loves me and I love Life.
Even if some of the re-alignment feels funky, allow yourself to explore it and see where there is resistance and what that resistance may be about. This exercise is designed to help illuminate possibilities for you. The possibility that you’re worthy, because you’re you.
As we elevate our consciousness, our perception of worthiness undergoes a transformation. At lower levels of consciousness, worthiness may be tied to material success and external approval. However, as we grow spiritually, we begin to understand that our true worth is inherent and unchanging. This shift allows us to embrace unconditional self-worth, where we recognize that we are deserving of love and respect simply because we exist.
Embracing Your Inherent Worth
Our journey is not about seeking worth but recognizing and reclaiming the worth that has always been within us. The path from seeking external validation to embracing internal acceptance is not just transformative, it's essential for spiritual and personal growth. Every step taken to understand and dissolve feelings of unworthiness helps to illuminate our inherent value as infinite beings connected to a source of limitless potential.
Remember, your worth is not contingent upon the external world’s recognition; it is a sacred birthright. As you continue to engage with practices that nurture self-awareness and self-acceptance, allow each experience, whether perceived as success or setback, to fortify the understanding of your own value. For additional support, read our blog on exploring soul purpose, where we discuss the power of moving from doing to being.
We invite you to carry forward the insights and tools shared in this blog as you navigate your path. Let each moment of awareness be a step towards deeper self-connection and true worthiness. Embrace your journey with an open heart, knowing that each phase of your evolution is an integral part of your story.
Remember, you are worthy—simply because you exist.
